i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
