sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
