Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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