why didn't you poke me back
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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