She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
