Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize