He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
