Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You are a genius and a whore.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
