he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
