Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
