well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
