i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
