I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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