I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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