Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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