You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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