I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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