Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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