try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
