How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize