I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
