And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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