I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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