I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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