Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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