I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize