hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish you could order shots online.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
