So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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