someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
