we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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