you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
