Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
