I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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