I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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