maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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