Soap is not a condiment
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
