it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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