I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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