Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize