So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
