i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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