The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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