who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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