You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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