things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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