Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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