It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
