I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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