God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
