His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
