how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
