I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
