Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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