Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
