So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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