some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
COCAINE IS GR8
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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