He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
