At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
