The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
