btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
