Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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