is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
