just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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