Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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