One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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