Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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