I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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