i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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