i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
