we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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