I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Welp...herpes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
