great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
40s are totally the cure
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
