on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
